


The Ghost Of You Is Close To Me

by s0joshdun



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Car Accidents, Death, Depression, M/M, Other, Sad, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love, Vague, joshler - Freeform, kind of, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 13:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4102483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s0joshdun/pseuds/s0joshdun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler wants to be gone. <br/>He's delusioned into believing that Josh is already gone--as an ex-best friend and lost love.<br/>He couldn't have been more wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost Of You Is Close To Me

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is really sad so don't read if you don't want to be sad  
> for everyone else who likes pain and suffering: hope u enjoy

_“—GONE!” Tyler screamed, choking out the word. His body surged forward as he regained consciousness. Someone ripped a tube out of this throat. He immediately rolled to the side and got sick over the side of the bed._

_People crowded around him. People he knew: family members, friends, someone was missing though—and people he didn’t know: doctors, nurses, police._

_They all talked to him at once. Tyler was so overwhelmed that he got sick again, this time being caught in a bucket by a nurse. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie,” he thought he heard someone say._

_“Josh,” was all Tyler managed to hiss out of his sore throat. “Where’s Josh?”_

_“Oh, Tyler,” someone cried. “Tyler…”_

_He started to cry. His eyes burned just like his throat. “Wh-where’s my Josh? What happened?”_

_Everything started to slam back into the front of his mind. He tried to ignore it as best as he could, wanting to know where Josh was and why he wasn’t at his side right now._

_“Why isn’t Josh here? He still hates me?”_

_“J-Josh never hated you, sweetheart,” someone said. Tyler kept his eyes closed. He didn’t recognize anyone anymore. He didn’t want to see them if Josh wasn’t a part of the group hovering around his hospital bed._

_“I should have never told him I loved him. Then we’d still be friends. Someone, please, I need him,” Tyler sobbed. He tilted his head into his shoulder and cried hard. He needed his best friend. He was in so much pain—his mind and heart and now his body._

_His body ached. His head pounded. He was dizzy. “What happened?” he asked in between cries._

_“Oh, Tyler,” someone said breathlessly. “You were in a car crash.”_

_He stopped crying for a few moments, letting the words sink into his brain. He let the memories flood in, like the water. The accident replayed in his head as fast as the car had gone._

Tyler sat solemnly in his car. He rested his head on the steering wheel and took a deep inhale. For some reason, his breaths didn't seem to fill him enough with atmosphere—no life. 

He was parked on a bridge. He couldn’t remember driving here. It was late—really late. So late in the night, actually, that you could call it morning to be more accurate. Tyler knew that the sun would rise soon. He knew that the sun always rose. But he also knew that it had to be tonight. 

He leaned back in his seat and heaved a sigh. The car was silent, besides his oddly calm heartbeat and his thoughts. The car radio was broken. He tilted his head to the side and looked out the window, up into the sky. The sky was turning green and purple, but it was still night. Stars twinkled behind the clouds, Tyler knew it, but now he didn’t really believe it—rather, he didn’t want to believe it. He couldn’t see them. Of all nights, tonight was the one when he needed to see the stars—but they were hiding. _Of course they were hiding tonight_.

Tyler looked further in the sky, at the moon. A few clouds scattered in front of it, making the light it reflected dim and unaffecting. He sighed and blinked once. His eyes burned. His eyes flickered from the street to the sky a few times. “Can you drown me?” his asked the sky. His voice shook. Words hurt when they rose from his throat like bile. He had screamed too much the night before.

His heart started to beat harder in his chest. It was shouting at him to do something— _anything!_ He felt the suffocation starting to creep back, his heart accelerating, his hands shaking, his breath running away. He couldn’t catch it. Nobody could. 

“Mmm, okay,” he whispered hoarsely. He straitened up in his seat and turned his key into the ignition. “Okay, okay, okay.” 

He gripped the steering wheel. Before he pressed the gas pedal, he jolted his head to the side at the sound of a door opening and shutting. There were now two hearts in the car, two separate breaths. 

“J-Josh?” Tyler asked quietly, weakly. He blinked out a few tears. Josh looked at Tyler with concern, swallowing nervously. 

“H-hey, Ty,” he said with a stammer. 

“How’d you find me?” Tyler asked, his voice monotone. He couldn’t look Josh in the eyes. He couldn’t look anybody in the eyes. He knew it wasn’t real. He couldn’t let himself fall for the trick. 

Josh didn’t answer. That’s when Tyler really knew. He swiped a tear from his cheek hastily and then returned his hand to the steering wheel. His knuckles were white.

“Tyler, what are you doing?” 

He didn’t reply. Josh asked the question again but the question was distant and hazy, so Tyler knew that it wasn’t real. “It must really be the end,” he murmured to himself. He had read somewhere once that in your dying moments, you could hallucinate. “Did I do it already?” Tyler asked himself. He released his grip on the wheel and looked at his palms. They were a little clammy. His skin by the heel of his palm was torn a bit due to his constant picking. It was a nervous habit. 

“Tyler?” He heard Josh’s voice a little more this time. “Look at me. What’s going on? I’m here now.”

Tyler let out a short, scary laugh. “No, I’m not looking at you.” He laughed again. He looked at his knuckles again. They were still white. They looked like they were disappearing a little, too. 

He pressed on the gas pedal. His car’s engine roared but he didn’t move. He reached over to put the gear into drive. When he did, a cold hand touched his. 

He laughed out loud again. “Josh is warm. Not cold.” 

“Tyler, you’re scaring me.”

Tyler moved his hand away from the hallucination’s hand. He gripped the steering wheel again. He let go of the break pedal. The car lurched forward.

“Tyler!” Josh shouted. 

“Josh doesn’t yell. Josh would never yell at me.”

The car whined as the speedometer spiked. Tyler didn’t look at the road. He tilted his head to Josh’s as he started to pull the steering wheel. 

“Don’t let me be gone,” Tyler whimpered to him. Josh screamed. The car heaved and crashed through the railing. It soared through the air. Josh screamed again. He wasn’t wearing a seat belt like Tyler. He flung into the windshield. Tyler couldn't see anything really but he heard the sound of glass shattering.

“Don’t let me be gone!” he screamed so loud that as soon as the words came out, his throat was on fire. “Don’t let me be—” Before Tyler could get the sentence out again completely, the car hit the water. 

It didn’t gracefully slide into the water. It was more like a collision into a brick wall.

Tyler gasped. His head smashed into the steering wheel. Somehow he remained conscious. The water poured into the car quickly, through the hole in the windshield that Imaginary Josh’s body laid through. Tyler cocked his head to the side, seeing Josh’s arms flailing upwards as the car sunk down more. His hair looked redder than before. His body looked frighteningly more real than Tyler figured it was supposed to.

He didn’t have much time to ponder the thought, before he himself was gone—or so he wished.

 _“My Josh,” Tyler whispered, his body shaking in sobs._

_No, it wasn’t a car accident. Tyler shook his head. It hurt. He cried out in pain. Not for his head though. For what he had done._

_An attempted suicide. An unintentional murder. He had lost more than his mind and life that night._

_He had lost his Josh._


End file.
